I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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