Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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