Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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