i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
