I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My vagina is officially offended.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
