I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
