worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
