just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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