Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
