I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
