The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
