You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
