i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
