She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
