Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Even my vagina gasped.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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