I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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