no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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