My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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