It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
