You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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