I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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