Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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