There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
