Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
