JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
