Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
