he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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