This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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