I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
