hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
