i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I want to make a zoo with you.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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