I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
