the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
