dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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