he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
