I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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