6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
