i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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