No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
