As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
