ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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