So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
