just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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