we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I will pee on everything he values.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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