They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
