It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
