I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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