Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
