I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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