soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
