Already got asked if we're dating
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
