glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
