dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
