I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
